When her father came home drunk, she told herself, “He has a lot of stress and just needs a release.” When the drinking turned to alcoholism and he lost his job, she rationalized, “He has a disease.  Now it’s my turn to take care of him.”  She thought she could love him out of the behavior.

When her mother worried all of the time, she told herself, “All mothers fear for their children.”  When the worry led to paranoia and compulsive behavior, she rationalized, “She’s had a tough life and it’s up to me to make her feel safe.”  She thought she could love her out of the behavior.

When her husband’s jealousy led to anger, she told herself, “He loves me so much and he’s afraid to lose me.”  When the anger led to violence, she rationalized, “It’s my fault, I need to be more careful not to make him jealous.”  She thought she could love him out of the behavior.

When she caught her son in a lie, she told herself, “It’s typical behavior to lie to your parent when you don’t want to follow the rules.”  When the lying turned to stealing from her, she rationalized, “It’s not his fault, he has a problem and he can’t control himself.”  She thought she could love him out of the behavior.

When her daughter stopped coming out of her room and refused to go to school, she told herself, “She’s just a moody teenager.”  When her daughter’s depression led to cutting and self-mutilation, she rationalized, “The world is cruel and I need to protect her from it, I’ll just let her stay home and keep the world away from her.”  She thought she could love her out of the behavior.

http://www.theresadodaro.com   Author of The Tin Box Trilogy