. . . when one feels trapped;
. . . when one feels that they are not being heard;
. . . when one feels deceived;
. . . when one feels that obstacles are being put in their way;
. . . when one has strong feelings and little power.
When frustration leads to anger, the result can be devastating to the individual, to the object of their frustration, and to the desired goal.
STEP BACK . . . Take time to think it through. Don’t react immediately to the frustration.
SWALLOW (YOUR PRIDE) . . . It’s not about being right. It’s not about power and control. It’s about handling yourself in a way you can be proud of. It’s about compromise and getting to an end result that is best for everyone, not just you.
ANALYZE (YOUR GOAL) . . . Is your goal worth what you might lose? You may loose the respect of someone you value. You may loose the love of someone you care about. You may loose the trust of someone who depends on you.
VISUALIZE (THE ACTION YOU ARE ABOUT TO TAKE AND THE RESULT YOU DESIRE) . . . Will the action get you what you want? What will be the cost to you and other’s around you? Is it worth it? Is there a better way of approaching it? What will most likely be the fallout?
EXIT (THE SITUATION) . . . If you are dealing with toxic people who are bent on brewing up a war . . . either remove yourself from the situation entirely, or if that is not an option, find a mediator who can deal in a rational unemotional manner to help you resolve the issue.
In our family we have a little magnet and on it is the “Serenity Prayer.” When someone get’s frustrated, I hand it to them, or if it’s me, I read it myself.
God, grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
http://www.theresadodaro.com Author of The Tin Box Trilogy