Some things just cannot be put back together. I like to watch “Relationship Therapy” type of shows on T.V., but sometimes as the stories behind some of these couples or families are revealed, I wonder why the “therapist” doesn’t just tell them to walk away. Toxic people do exist. Maybe they aren’t “toxic” to everyone, but they are “toxic” when combined with certain other people.
Relationships and families have foundations. When you have broken people and they try to build a foundation together, they usually end up creating a relationship that is full of “holes.” When these broken people have children, they create more broken people. When their children grow up and start their own relationships, they usually don’t fair much better.
If only the T.V. therapist had a rewind button, he/she could go back in time and change what broke these people. Or at least, work on their problems before they brought children into their broken worlds. It becomes evident, at times, that some of these couples actually thought that having children would “fix” their problems. They are seriously misguided in their thoughts.
There is nothing you can do about the past. If you are broken because of the actions of others, then stop letting those people continuously break you. If you are broken because of your own actions, take control of your life and work the steps to change. But until you “fix” yourself, don’t expect others to “fix” you, don’t expect a relationship or a child to do the work you are too lazy or afraid to do yourself.
Some things cannot be fixed. If you are in a relationship with someone who is so broken that they will never be whole again and all they do is break you, get out! If you are a child in a family of broken adults, learn, prepare, and take action. Tell a trusted adult. If all else fails, if the “system” fails you, then when you become an adult yourself, “fix” yourself before you start a family of your own. Building more broken people and relationships on top of a broken foundation only leads to disaster. The buck stops here . . . you can’t do anything about the past, but you can change the future.
http://www.theresadodaro.com Author of The Tin Box Trilogy